On the Cost of Mousepads
My question is simple: why are mousepads still so damn expensive?
When I went into Staples the other day to try to replace my tattered doggie mousepad, if I weren't in the shape I'm in, I would have had a heart attack.
If I wanted a mousepad without the STAPLES logo burned into it (which I did), it would cost me a minimum of $9.98, plus tax. I left empty handed.
A lot of R&D has gone into mousepads, my friends,
which explains why they're so expensive.
The puppy on my current mousepad is looking more forlorn than usual. Maybe I don't even need the thing. Perhaps the pup would prefer life in a landfill to having a red laser light burning his ass all the time.
However, none of this explains why mousepads are so friggen expensive. I asked the kid at the register about it. As all young clerks are, he was extremely helpful.
"I dunno," he said. "Maybe it's the plastic?"
"Yeah, that must be it," I said. "'Cause nothing's made out of plastic."
"Maybe it's 'cause they know they got you," he said. "Like highway rest stops, why the gas costs so much."
"You're getting warmer," I said. "Do me a favor, will you?"
"What?"
He looked at me like I'd just asked him to compete in the Iditarod.
"Have your manager put in a formal complaint."
"We've got a form," he said. "Can you fill it out?"
"Yes, I can," I said. "But I won't. Goodbye."
And so I left, sans mousepad, and at this very moment the pup on my disintegrating one is staring back at me.
"You cheap bastard," he says. "Just buy a new one and let me rest. I'm tired."