NotWriting, the blog

Hello, and welcome to the fifty-fourth installment of NotWriting.com, an open journal on how one writer spends his time when he really should be writing.

First of all, for those of you who don't know what I mean by "THUHHHHHHHHH"—that's the way the announcer on the YES Network—the Yankees' station—says the word "the" when the Yankees win. It's obnoxious, so I'm using it here.

And as for "Sweet Fire"—that's a picturesque phrase used by (and I imagine, invented by) a fellow New Englander and one of my wife's friends, Amy Caron.

Anyway, from start to finish, our boys kicked ass. From Manny's swat against the Angels (I think that ball's on the Mass Pike somewhere) to Ellsbury's amazing performance to our dominating pitching, it was beautiful to watch. The entire season was incredible—my boys led from April to October and they never let up.

But as much as it joys me to see my team win, it also joys me to see Yankees' fans get served another helping of humble pie this season.

Back in July, I made the mistake of going to a Sox game at Yankee Stadium and seeing my boys lose there. I was surrounded by drunken, obnoxious Yankees fans, one of whom said to me as I left, "Your team sucks." Here's what I said in return:

"Wait until October."

If that moron was still alive this morning, I hope he woke up to find out the Sox SWEPT Colorado and then threw himself out a window. Not that I harbor grudges or anything.

At the beginning of this season, I said that if the Yankees didn't at least get to the Series, you would have to wonder what was going on with them. I'll tell you what's going on with them:

THE YANKEES ARE CURSED.

Remember "the Curse"? Remember the 86-year drought Red Sox fans endured before we won in 2004? Remember those stupid, homemade signs on bedsheets that Yankees fans would wave with the year "1918" on them? Well, it's my belief that when the Sox won in 2004, the Curse got transferred to the Yankees. I submit the following for your consideration:

* The Yankees' front office insulted Joe Torre (a manager that led them to 12 consecutive postseasons), resulting in his quitting.

* The Yankees' "superstar", Alex Rodriguez, is opting out of his contract; Hank Steinbrenner (as much an interpersonal relationships genius as his father) has said they don't want him anyway.

* Their catcher and one of their starting pitchers probably won't be returning.

* Their big-money acquisitions like Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens failed to come through when they needed them.

* Their once unhittable closer, Mariano Rivera, is very hittable now.

* One of their pitchers, Cory Lidle, crashed a plane into an Upper East Side building. I'm not happy about this; it's just another indication that they're the ones who are cursed now.

In short, the Yankees have imploded. THUHHHHHHHHH Yankees have imploded!

Now don't get me wrong, the Yankees have always been a great team. Some of the best players ever were New York Yankees. Also, the Red Sox only have 7 Championships to the Yankees' 26.

But what if—just as the Red Sox had an 86-year drought between 1918 and 2004—what IF the Yankees experienced a championship drought between 2000 (when they won against the Mets) and 2086?

What if the Sox won in all of the following years?

2004, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2014, 2016, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2027, 2029, 2035, 2040, 2044, 2046, 2049, 2052, 2059, 2060, 2063, 2066, 2077 (an 11-year drought), 2080, 2082, 2085

That's 30 championships to the Yankees' 26.

Hey, somebody's got to lose year after year, and since it's not the Sox anymore, it might as well be them.

Before I go, here is what two of our vaunted publications have to say about the Sox:

From the New York Times (Oct. 28):

"They have gone from exorcism to coronation in record time. The Boston Red Sox, who fought ghosts for most of the last century, are the premier team of the new millennium."

From Sports Illustrated (Oct. 29 issue):

"The Boston Red Sox have become the New York Yankees..."

I rest my case.

Back in 2004, I said that if the Red Sox won just that year, I could die a happy man. I said that they never had to win again and I'd be satisfied.

You know what? F--k that.

Here's to next year.