Will You Please SHUT UP About "The Football"?
Hello, and welcome to the forty-ninth installment of NotWriting.com, an open journal on how one writer spends his time when he really should be writing.
This entry will be brief.
Like a lot of red-blooded, notwriting American men, I enjoy watching football on Sundays. As a native New Englander, the Patriots, of course, are my favorite team, but I wouldn't mind seeing Peyton Manning and the Colts win it all this year. I love watching the game. I love the long passes and hard hits. What I don't love—hate, in fact—is most of the post-game analysis. Especially when they talk about "the football".
A regulation NFL football. In case you couldn't tell.
It drives me nuts when the commentators say things like the following:
"The Steelers aren't going to win this year unless they start running the football."
"The key to winning is that you have to be able to pass the football."
"You can't turn over the football eight times in a game and expect to win."
"They really dominated today by kicking the football."
Okay, sick of seeing "THE FOOTBALL" yet? Now you know how I feel.
Commentators like the guys on Fox must say "the football" about 500 times during the pre- and post-game shows. You know, I'm really glad they remind me that we're talking about "THE FOOTBALL" because I might have thought they were running, throwing and kicking a tennis ball out there.
Commentators, analysts and sports journalists: For the love of GOD, would you please just say "the ball" during your pieces? Please?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to turn on the World Series now, wherein I plan to see several athletes hitting, throwing and catching "the baseball".